Too Much of a Good Thing
by Witch of Darkness
Summary: We know you want to know. We know that in the depths of night, your mind, unbidden, comes to revolve around a question so imature and childish you can't bare to say it aloud. But fear not gentle reader, for here and now your question will be answered.


(A/N) Yo! 'tis I, Witch of Darkness, once again in tandem with Maru to Moro to bring yet another hilarious fic. Well, we think it is. So read, and decide for yourself.

Sakura sighed and looked at the brilliantly blue sky. It had been another scorching day, sultry and blistering. Unfortunately, for the genins of Konoha, they had not been excused from training. Sakura was, to be blunt, completely wiped. She wasn't the only one though, looking over at her companions, her eyes fell on the form of Uchiha Sasuke sitting in the shade of a tree in a vain attempt to cool off. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat and every now and then he would surreptitiously try to cool himself off by tugging at his shirt nonchalantly. Sakura also noticed that instead of the usual midnight blue, he was now wearing navy.

Suddenly, Sakura was interrupted from pleasant fantasies by a loud and slightly obnoxious exhalation of breath. Glancing around for the source of the sound, she was unsurprised to see it was Naruto. He, for his part, was looking rather the worse for wear. It seemed his nearly limitless stamina had deserted him, cowering away from the vicious rays of the sun. He flopped down on a patch of slightly brown grass next to Sakura and it took her a moment to realize why she hadn't been blinded by his rather hideous orange jumpsuit. Apparently, in favor of the heat, he'd replaced it with only a pair of shorts giving Sakura and excellent view of his completely bare, save for a sheen of sweat, upper body.

It was almost surprising how much he'd filled out over the last couple of years. On an intellectual level Sakura knew that 14 year old Naruto would be different from 12 year old Naruto, (physically at least) but she still couldn't quite place the young man she saw before her with the little boy he'd once been. Gazing down at him once again, her eyes drifted from his peacefully closed eyes to his flat and toned stomach. Her eyes lingered there for a moment. He really did have nice abs. Funny, she thought, you'd think he'd bloat up with all that ramen he ate.

"Naruto," she said suddenly, "what did you eat for breakfast?"

"Uh," he cracked and eyelid, "Cup ramen, I think."

"And Lunch?" Sakura continued.

"You were with me," he said indignantly, "I had miso ramen."

"Hmm," was Sakura's thoughtful reply, "Naruto, do you eat anything besides ramen?"

A look of light annoyance passed across his sweaty face, "Of course," he said, "like just the other day I had a…a…well I don't remember but it wasn't ramen!"

"I thought so," Sakura said mildly, "I guess the only question that remains is why aren't you horrendously constipated, like, all the time?"

If he'd been annoyed before, Naruto was practically furious now, color tingeing his already pink face. "I am not constipated!" he shouted.

"You should be though," said Sakura, "I mean ramen has all that salt and carbs in it. You should be horribly bloated."

Naruto was completely red now, sputtering incoherently.

Suddenly another voice chimed in, "Yeah Naruto, why aren't you writhing in pain every 20 seconds due to gastro-intestinal distress?"

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto screeched.

Kakashi, who was obviously smirking from beneath his mask, was already absorbed in Icha Icha Paradise.

"Maybe he is constipated," yet another voice said. All heads immediately swiveled around towards everyone's favorite Uchiha pretty boy. Sasuke just shrugged.

Sakura looked thoughtful. "Have you tried eating peaches?" she asked, "Tsunade-sama says they help with that sort of thing."

"I am NOT constipated!" Naruto was practically bellowing.

"Someone's constipated?" it was none other than the Hokage herself. "Ah, Naruto, figures it would be you what with all that ramen you eat. Have you tried peaches? Or, I know a few good jutsus?"

"Grrrr," Naruto was approaching apoplectic, "Why are YOU here anyway?" he said glaring at Tsunade.

"I came to speak to your sensei," came her offhand reply, "but this is much more important."

A muscle twitched in Naruto's forehead. "For the last frigin time, I AM NOT CONSTIPATED!"

"But it just doesn't make any sense," said Sakura, "I mean you eat ramen all the time, 24/7 practically, why _aren't_ you constipated?"

At this everyone looked slightly thoughtful excepting Naruto who was still seething in fury.

At last, Kakashi spoke up, "Maybe he takes fiber pills?"

(A/N) Yup, that's it, short and sweet. By the way, if it isn't ya know, to much trouble or anything, you could maybe kinda, sort of in a way uh, review. But only if it isn't too much trouble. P.S. If you like this fic, check out the other one Maru to Moro and I wrote about Sasuke.


End file.
